A Smile I Could Not Give

•April 1, 2015 • Leave a Comment
A Smile I Couldnt Give Her

A Smile I Couldn’t Give Her


Thank you for letting me take a picture of you. This may be the first and the last (take note, ‘may’). After all, I know, at the end of the day, everything will be back to the way it was before.

We can’t go back to how we used to be, but we’ll keep moving forward. I Could Not Give A Smile like this for you, I can, I tried, but your smiles weren’t the same as how others give them to you. I won’t give up.

Thank you, for smiling, thank you for giving me the chance of a lifetime.

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To Be Done

•March 12, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I’m quite busy this week and had not posted any devotions, but I have my devotions saved and will post it by the end of the week in one compilation maybe.

Right now, I have a task given to me by my Senior, Kuya Mark, in JAM (Jesus’ Army of Musicians) ministry and it is to:

Listen and learn these songs. Yes, all of them but I need only to learn the Solemn songs, but why not learn them all when I can, right? πŸ™‚ Cheers for this. I am being enveloped with warmth when I heard I could play these songs. I love the songs Hillsong performed, they always uplift my soul into praising the Lord. πŸ™‚

Blessed AlbumΒ by Hillsong

Joyful:

  • Now That You’re Near
  • Shout of the King
  • All I Do
  • With You
  • Most High
  • King of Majesty

Solemn:

  • Blessed
  • Made Me Glad
  • Through it All
  • Son of God
  • One Desire
  • Magnificent
  • I Adore
  • All The Heavens

Memory of A Future

•February 23, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Journal Entry – Feb 2, 2015

I’m back to this memory writing thing again. I have to express how I feel kaya nag-gaganito nanaman ako. πŸ˜›
I’m talking to you, my future self, matatawa ka na lang kapag nabasa mo ito next time.
Ayun, let’s start then shall we?
At first (i was afraid, corny nu?), I am uberly GLAD to have met Ruth O. She’s a great Ate all-in-all, I met her last Sept. And wala pa naman akong gusto sa kanya nun. She just offered me to ask questions regarding the Church and Christian Life. Slowly I get to see her every week, how she deals with the Christian Youth and other Ministries.
After nun, di ko masabi kung close na kami kasi it’s just like a sibling relationship. I decided to join a ministry kasi sabi nya. Everything she says I do kasi nga she has more experience as a Christian than me and I begin to walk the same path as well. She’s my Idol.
Tapos I heard her back story, ano nangyari sa kanya and stuff. How she started and all. I realized na, we almost have the same back story but I think mine was a bit really too far from being a Christian Life.
I feel blessed though, I keep thinking this is God’s plan for me-to meet her. Honestly, I still doubt though. Just tk make sure, I tried to cover up my gentleman moves by saying I like someone else na kilala nya.
Then she was like:
Make sure na wag ka mawala kay God
Concerned citizen lang haha
Kasi pag nawala ka
Pupunta ako sa bahay nyo
Kakaladkadin kita palabas
Isn’t that sweet?
Christmas party namin, I invited her tapos she still feels sick tapos ang lonely nya sa party. Β Laging nasa fone nya. Ayun. Tapos. Nag gitara sya. And heard the voice that filled my heart with Joy. Hehe. Kiliiiig lang ako. πŸ™‚
Ayun… Slowly talaga, after ko sya makasama since Sept. Lagi kami magkasabay umuwi and stuff. I always carry her things for her. Told her that she’s in my Special Friends list.
Pero… Pero.. Pero. Pero, last Feb 1, 2015, day before I made this.
Kuya Rey, our senior in JAM/VIA, asked her while we were inside a taxi:
What if may manligaw sayo ngayon
Something along those lines…
She answered:
“Siguro I am at the right age pero not at the right time”
… And then. The very teasing answer:
“Di ko alam kung may gusto sya sa akin…”
Something along those lines too…
Then I forgot what comes next.
From there on. I assumed but I’d rather think of something else. Ang kaba ko sa dibdib to the max. Whew. Hahaha
Ayun. The end. Future self. Kung maging kayo man. Ikwento mo ito sa kanya. Baka matuwa sya. πŸ˜€

Once Again…

•February 18, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Hello,

Once again I am back to this place, and I deleted my old posts. Yep, they’re gone. I needed it to be gone because I have my reason. Well, I just don’t want it to be read by some other people. So, yeah, I deleted it, I did not make it invisible to the public. So Cheers.

During the past year, I have been busy and yes, REALLY BUSY! I have such hopes that I want to finish my school as soon as possible. And Now, I am currently on my final level, and last 2 years of college. I feel old already, though.

Anyways, there are major changes in my life. I’ve been recently baptized into a Christian (last Jan. 24, 2015) and yes, it is a big breakthrough for me. I also found a new life and potential in me. When I say Life, it’s Love Life, well, it’s the only thing that brings color into my life. And yet, I see something far more greater than this. Which is my activities as a Christian, and my growth in Christ.

Well, that said, I’ve posted my Service Notes already and it may not be in chronology because I usually take notes on my notebook and I only made it on phone because I usually forget my pen. Sucks to be me 😐

Well, till here then. πŸ˜€

Could This Be It?

•February 18, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Journal Entry – Feb 9, 2015

Here we go again…

Last Night was the most awesome night ever.

We were hanging out at Dhoby Ghaut on the steps of SotA (School of the Arts), jamming with self-composed songs and stuff.

Songs that was made because of the past, all of those regrets, pain and memories.

She, Ruth❀️, sang her heart out.

I feel very warm, I think, noβ€”I fell in love with her again.

Her passion, her feelings that reach out to others, makes me more and more excited. How awesome God can be.

As we went home, I sent her off too.

Medyo unexpected sa kanya, she tried to ask me not to pero I insisted.

She was like

Raymond, ano to?

Di ako sanay ng hinahatid

Help lang to ah?

Wala nang iba ah?

She get flusterred as she slowly found out that I have a liking to her.

“Friends lang muna”

Was the kick-off sentence

Note “MUNA”

And then I said to her, “muna, means there’s a chance”

She was like,

Ano ba ito?

Wala pang gumagawa nito para sa akin?

Akala ko si Hanna?

I said: iba ang dating mo eh. (Referring to the Feb 2 entry, where I was very touched by her)

“Ano ba yan, bakit ako? Ano ba nakita mo sa akin?”

I replied: Why should you feel so insecure about yourself?

At the end, she made a Deal with me:

“Friends”

“Pursue God First”

“Then, we’ll see”

“Okay?”

“No more awkwardness”

I made a deal, but I feel it’s not a good one. I doubt she will like me. I doubt she will, for there is always someone better. I know there is. He’s right here. He is just nearby. But nevermind, God has always been and will always be my Motivation

I even exlaimed to her:

God First

Others Second

Self Last

That I have my:

Motivation

Insipiration

Aspiration

Hypothesis!

•June 13, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Journal Entry: 20 May 2013, Monday.

8:30am.++

I woke up amidst the stressful day that passed by. I was urged to play a game today by my friends in the states, Regi and Martin. Yep, it’s night time there and morning here. A good way to start the day. My grandparents wondered why I’m up so early. I told them that I don’t have class today but in fact there was, at 3:30 pm, I just hid the fact that I we don’t have any class just for me to play.

12:00nn++

I am still playing away, my father was at home too, and I was asked to eat lunch, I said I would eat later, I haven’t taken any Breakfast nor Lunch, I just kept on playing until I ran out of time. Around 2:00 – 2:30 pm, my father was shouting mad and kept rambling where am I? I was too busy talking with my friends via Skype and haven’t heard any of father’s calls, my sister needs to have a bath and I was playing, my father was so angry because he is working at home and is in a meeting.

3:30 pm.++

After a while, I received a message from Miss Y. She was wondering why I’m not in class today. I replied: My feet are sore from biking yesterday. What a stupid lie, but actually, the fact that I also wanted to take an absent today was because I wanted to know if Miss B will worry why I’m not in class. Instead, Miss Y was the one who was concerned, and I insisted that she ask Miss B where I am just to make Miss B ask me via message.

Truth is, she never asked nor was she concerned.

She instinctively answered Miss Y, “I don’t know maybe he thought there was nothing to do in class.” (I know because I asked Miss Y to ask her.) I’m a bit disappointed though, I expected she would miss me but she never did. Well, that’s my hypothesis but really I will try to go after her more like this. πŸ™‚

7:00 pm++

Well, my whole day was all about games and I got scolded by my parents again, I did not send a message with Miss B today, not a single hint of hello. πŸ˜› Well, that’s it.

I decide to cut-off some parts, like 7:00pm++ because sometimes it is too redundant, I will only note most happenings for today. That’s it. πŸ™‚

– End of Entry.

Let’s Go Biking!

•June 12, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Journal Entry: 19 May 2013, Sunday.

8:30am.++

I have to wake up no matter what, I haven’t been to church for a week now and I have to prepare myself, 10:00 am is the mass. I prepped up and woke my folks. I tried to knock and wake them up but I saw that the time was already 9:45 am, it was already too late. Instead, I left since I also have an appointment of my own. Biking! πŸ™‚

10:00 am++

I ate outside before going to my friend’s house, I ate lunch and then I head towards the MRT Station, rode the train all the way to my friend’s house. I reached my friend’s house around 2:30pm. It was quite early than we had planned 3:00pm. I was really

2:30 pm.++

At the station near my friend’s place. I called my friend to fetch me from the station. Instead, he gave me directions on how to get to his place. -.- It was the easiest instruction of all, follow the river upstream and then when you see the street, turn right. Wow. I thought it will be looping all over the place. Well, my place was a bit complicated to go to.

I reached the place and J1 was already there. He had lunch there also, I entered their condominium area, and I was amazed, it was an executive / private condo, it was really quiet. The ambience of the place was very silent. Β J2’s brother-in-law (bil) was anticipating our arrival and I had to introduce myself. I was prepped up for biking but J2’s bil tells us that it is still hot for us to go, instead we went swimming, (which I semi-prepared myself) J1 wasn’t really prepared and hadn’t bring any spare shirts and underwear. πŸ˜› Bad luck, he never get the feeling of a hot summer day in the pool. Best thing ever.

3:30 pm.++

We decided to go ahead and bike. Well, this part might be short? All we did was bike! Skip Skip Skip… To the point where we got to the end.

At the end of the biking trail, we rested. It is at a seaside and we sat down near some rocks by the beach. J2 suddenly opened up because J1 was insisting about his love-life. I was just silent and not really conveying anything, just listening as well. I might learn something from it.

7:00 pm++

After that chat, I opened up as well, about my past. 😐 Well, I trust them. Then… It got late and was time for us to eat. I treated them to Burger King. πŸ™‚ yeah $25 worth of food all for us 3. I got too excited for the eating part. :))

8:30 pm

We got back to J2’s place to return the bikes and well. We stayed up until 10:30 to do continue our chats and rest for a bit. By 9:00 pm we decided to leave. And while on the way back, I was messaging Miss B, saying to her she should have come. It was very fun. I was teasing her.

πŸ™‚ Well, I went home and enjoyed the chat with her. Though, I am very tired. I feel exhausted. Ugh.

10:30 pm

I reached home around 10:30 pm and it was past my curfew. My mom got angry again for being late. It was normal for me. Normal. -_- I went to bed and slept had some small chats again and slept before 12:00am.

– End of Entry.